I woke up feeling like a father.
Have a night to sleep on the news from the previous day caused an immediate change. I can’t really explain it, but I woke up without the anxieties of Tuesday. I really felt the excitement and responsibility kick in.
Jessica and I are both pretty independent people. Typically we each take care of our own responsibilities in the morning. I will usually hit the gym, come home and prep for work while Jessica showers, makes her lunch, and get to work. It’s usually a pretty utilitarian morning routine and we go on with our work days.
This morning was different, I woke up with Jessica as my main focus. I had a snow day from work due to the aftermath of the winter storm on Tuesday, so I put off my gym time. What would she have for lunch? Would she have enough water? What can I do to help her this morning? I know it’s just the beginning and she is fully capable of doing all this on her own, I just hyper sensitive to the fact she is going to have a “long” road ahead of her as her body goes through changes. Things I can’t even imagine because the thought of a human being growing inside of me would honestly freak me out. My responsibility is to ensure she has everything she needs so that both her and the baby have a safe and health adventure together.
I think the hardest part at this point is not telling anyone. We decided this coming weekend we would tell our parents. My mom’s birthday was March 1st and I had gotten her a birthday card yet, so I went and got her a Happy Birthday Grandma card from Baby T. They will be in town for the weekend cleaning up from the storm, so we will stop by and share the news. While at CVS I picked up a St. Patrick Day card for my soon to be 1 year old nephew. This card will be from his new, and first cousin. Obviously my sister will be the one to read the card and that’s how she will know. Jessica is still playing around with some ideas to tell her parents and brother, but it looks like it will happen on Friday. I just can’t wait to tell people it’s hard to be excited on the inside while talking to everyone.
So far I think I can get used to this fatherhood thing. I may need to re-read this post in 10 months at 3am. Luckily, I’m a heavy sleeper, sorry Jessica.