Another appointment

So I am beginning to think it is a cold.  I went to the gym but just walked for 30 minutes on the treadmill preventing annoying everyone coughing up my chest congestion.

Again my morning was flooded with emails for last minute questions/orders.  It’s just that time of year where I need to almost be attached to my computer to solve issues as they come in.

We had a follow up doctor’s appointment to go over the results of the 1st trimester screening, but because our screening was rescheduled later the results were not available for our appointment.  The appointment was pretty low key.  The doctor did a quick ultrasound to check the heart beat, asked how Jessica was doing and sent us on our way.

On the way to and from the appointment I listened to a new Tim Ferriss podcast where he interviewed athletic trainer Ryan Flaherty.  What a sharp guy.  Only 34 years old and made me feel like I was a slug.  He was a top trainer in getting athletes to get faster.  He was totally deep into the science of exercise science which made him a top trainer.  But listening to him, I kind of wished I had explored more career options in high school because I thought I’d enjoy beings a physical therapist.   I know it’s never too late to do something, but I just think if back then I had explored it, I probably would have proceed down that path.  Oh well, one missed opportunity for now to open another one down the road.

It’s a Monday

The Monday after somewhat of a “Spring Break” for me.  I spent the morning ensuring I addressed everything that needed to be address over the past week and sent some “Welcome Back” reminders to my customers.  It’s always tough to get back into the groove of grinding when the weather is so nice out. The fact that Jessica took the week off to spend time with her cousin from out of state just added to the fact I wasn’t fully ready to back into it.

To make matters worse I’ve haven’t felt the greatest the past few days.  I am thinking its allergies.  It’s not like a cold, but I have a feeling of fluid behind my ears and my eyes have been bothering me.  The fluid in the ear is setting off my equilibrium and is super annoying.  Constantly feeling like your underwater.

I really don’t like to complain.  No one really wants to hear you whine about how you don’t feel well so I try to proceed as normally as possible.  My issue is I have two competing characteristics.  I really don’t like taking medication, prescription or over-the-counter, but at the same respect I’m a hypochondriac (self-diagnosed). So of course when I feel off my game for a couple days in a row and it’s not the typical feeling of a cold I go into panic mode and start googling.  Maybe there was lead paint in the demo I just did and I have lead poisoning (even though I completed a home test that resulted in a negative reading, but nevertheless test can fail) or my lymph nodes are swollen in my neck because it could be a tumor (thanks Mayo Clinic).  Why I look online I will never know because I always read the worst and then have to convince myself it is just allergies and to relax.  There is nothing in pain, there is no major discomfort or cause for concern, so I’ll take it day by day to see how it changes.  No need for rash decisions.

I can’t believe I’m the only person that acts in this irrational manner knowing full well it is irrational and I have to believe there are people out there who can’t convince themselves to calm down and go full blown with their self-diagnosed rare illness.  Maybe some day I’ll mature and stop researching online.  If I’m that concerned I should probably stop playing doctor and visit a real one.

Follow-Up

Yesterday we had our follow-up visit with the MFM doctors just to ensure everything was still looking good two weeks after the initial visit.

I’d like to say I feel confident everything is progressing smoothly.  They told us everything looks good/normal.  The Dr made a joke that he didn’t know what college they would graduate from, but everything looked right for a 9 weeks old fetus.  I’m sure he uses that joke 100 times a day…….

So why don’t I have total confidence you ask? The office is associated with a teaching hospital, so our ultrasound was done by a resident Dr with a much more experienced tech looking on.  They started the ultrasound through the abdomen, just as they had the first time, and stated they would follow that with a transvaginal scan.

The resident Dr. had the toughest time finding the fetus, she received a lot feedback from the senior tech.  I know everyone has to learn, and I am very patient with that fact, but when you are looking for solid answers on the healthiness of your child it is a little anxiety causing.

Because the fetus was so small they were having trouble getting clear pictures.  They kept saying things like, “Well I think this is the whole thing” and “I think I got the whole image”.  I was on pins and needles the whole time but anticipated much stronger images when they completed the transvaginal scan.

After they were satisfied with the results of the abdominal scan they left the room to consult with the attending physician.  The physician entered and stated everything looked normal and make his college comment.  They then handed us a print of the sonogram and said we were all set.  No having the transvaginal scan made me a little uneasy.  It would have been so much more clear and confirming of the all clear.  I should have said something, but when it come to medicine I usually let Jessica take the lead.  Since she is a nurse she understands this stuff more than I.  She didn’t say anything so I figured I should keep my mouth closed. I left the office wishing I said something.  I know the baby is only about the size of a jelly bean and isn’t a whole lot “human-looking” at this point, but the sonogram they gave us kind of looks like an octopus.  I know neither one of us has any octopus genes in our family.

I will need to trust that they saw enough to call it as normal for the time being.  They know what to look for and what is normal so I have to trust in them.  I still feel I need to be cautious like walking on egg shells.  Luckily we will follow up next week with Jessica’s primary OB and see what he has to say.

The MFM Dr brought up doing 1st trimester genetic testing for down syndrome.  We hadn’t really thought about it before.  Would we do anything different if we found out it had down syndrome? If no, was it worth testing? Are their any dangers to the test?  We have a lot to find out first, but I can’t imagine doing anything different if we found out they had down syndrome.  I guess there too I would need to do research, but it still seems to me we would play with the card dealt.  You can’t control everything and never will be able to.  All we have is love to give.  We of course hope for the healthiest of results, but any which way they will be loved.

If you have some personal feeling on this I would enjoy hearing from you.